Vacation or Staycation???

My big birthday is coming up sooner than later.  The original plan was for us to go to Vegas, then I took my car for service and left with $1600 worth of work that needs to be done (luckily not all at once).  So I have started to think about having a staycation, maybe get a nice hotel room downtown and have a fancy dinner, go out, maybe a pole dancing class and wine tasting. 

Thoughts anyone…please help!

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Did We? I Just Can’t Remember

So what do you do when you bump into someone that you had an experience with … but you can’t seem to remember ever having that experience?  What does that say about the experience? Here is the story (not my story, but I thought I would share)….
A girlfriend of mine was dating this guy and it went south pretty rapidly…so courtesy of facebook she found interest in someone else pretty fast.  They started out just exchanging messages a few times a week, to talking on the phone all night (you would think she was a teenie bopper right…wrong).  Oh…quick fact…they live about 1000 miles away from each other.  Ok so after a few weeks of talking all the time on the phone the facebook status changes 🙂 (I find that so silly, but that is just me…I don’t need all of my facebook friends/family to see what relationship I am in or not in…again, that’s me).  During the course of one of their phone conversations he goes on to say they had a sexual past,
Back in High School, you came over that day. Don’t you remember?
 
Hmmm…obviously not…is that a sign?  I don’t know how he or she could want to be involved with the other…you have had sex in the past, yes it has been quite some time ago, but damn you don’t remember.  As the man, I would take offense to that, either the sex wasn’t that good (which is a deal breaker for me as a female…hello sex is not everything but let’s be real, it does matter) or you are just out there and have slept with so many people you just can’t remember.  Now again, don’t get me wrong, I have had an encounter or two that I did not remember, not for lack of enthusiasm or fun, but because I had way too much to drink…but at some point it hits you like a ton of bricks…oh shit did I do that…yes doll you absolutely did…and then you move on.
 
Any thoughts?
 

Coloring Outside the Lines

My whole dating life I have dated similar types of guys.  Not in looks, nothing physical was the same about them at all besides they have all been the same race.  They all had very similar personalities, especially when I got out of my bad boy phase.  Oh the joys of being a girl in the dating world…

After the bad boys I went on to date the athletes…and I never really left them behind.  Whether they were playing professionally, in college awaiting the pros, or playing for fun every single chance they got, I have been dealing with the same type of guy.  So I guess that particular type of guy is inside of the lines in my coloring book…big, black (or brown) and athletic. 

Not that I am totally giving up on coloring inside of the lines, but at this point in my life I am trying to figure out why I have mentally closed doors on the rest of the male population…so my goal is to color outside of the lines for a while … and who knows I may end up staying outside of those lines.

Have a great weekend 🙂

What To Do

I am not sure how to approach this situation.  As most of you know my ex was in town for the weekend that just passed and we had a very cordial/friendly visit.  All was well or so I thought.  As I was checking my facebook yesterday I noticed his cousin was online and we were chatting.  She started to talk to me about my ex and not realizing she was sharing some new information…she notified me that he recently got a DUI and how he is headed down the same path as his father…(his father has had so many DUI’s that he got his license taken away and still lives at home with his parents at the age of 53) so what do I do with that…besides feel sad for him.  I/We thought the DUI just happened since he got back to NY but come to realize that this whole thing happened 2 weeks prior…during which time my daughter was in NY with him.  I have spoken with him and his mother since this whole ordeal happened and neither one of them said anything to me about it…

I can totally understand protecting your child and not wanting to shed a bad light on an already tough situation but give me a damn break…I am not just a bitter ex, I am the mother of his two children…one of which was in NY while all of this went down.  I think I deserve to know what the hell is going on.  Don’t you? I don’t need to know every waking detail of his life but something as important as that I think should be told to me.

While he was here I was talking to him about life and everything and how he needs to be a better provider for his kids and helping him with ideas on how to get there…I told him that I think he needs to go into the military.  He is not doing anything good with his life in NY and it is scary to me because his father was/is the same way he is being and he hates his father… I just don’t understand how he can do the same BS his father did and not think the girls will look at him the same way he looks at his father.  I just don’t want it to be too late for him to have a good relationship with the girls…and I don’t know how many times I need to emphasize how much a little girl needs her daddy…Shit I am almost 30 and I need my daddy still sometimes.

What do I do? I can’t force him to do anything but something has to happen.  He is never in the house when I call, he is always out playing basketball or something…never do I call and someone tells me he is at work.  There is a problem a big problem here.  Do I threaten to take the kids away from him permanently until he gets his life together???

Good Weekend

Overall I had a good weekend…my daughter came home Friday looking all grown up; I had a good convo with the ex and hopefully we can get somewhere and he noticed the weight loss; I had a day and a half that I could tell the girls “Go ask your dad”. I think that was my favorite part…I needed a minute to just be able to do what I wanted to do without having to worry about anyone or anything else. Now its Sunday evening, I am halfway thru laundry and I am not trying to finish tonight, my daughter is all set for her first day of 2nd grade and I am ready to go to work…not really but I have come to terms with it. Let’s see where this week leads me.

First Post-Encounter

So… tomorrow my ex is bringing my daughter back home.  This will be the first time we see each other since we ended things and he left in January (we were together almost 8 years).  I am hoping that this is not going to be awkward…considering he has been a complete tool since he left.  Let’s see … since he has been gone I have lost about 30 lbs, my baby girl has grown a whole 6-9 inches, we moved to a new place, and through all of it he has been an ass…not calling the girls, not sending anything for them for either of their birthdays (February and July), nothing…hardly sends money for them which we agreed would be enough to cover daycare … yeah that is not quite how it has worked out.

I just keep telling myself that its fine and we don’t need him at all…but then reality sets in and I realize yes I don’t need or want him but my babies definitely need their dad.  I look at all of the girls I know that were raised without their fathers in their lives and see how just that absence has affected their lives, the decisions they make about men and life in general.  Then I look at all the issues I had with my dad but I would not trade him for the world…I would not be the person I am now if it weren’t for him…not saying that having a dad makes anyone perfect but for girls I think it gives them something to compare a man to, like an outline for what our future boyfriends/husbands should be…what they should offer you.  That is if you are a good dad like mine 🙂

As for my girlies, I am just thankful that I have a very supportive family that is willing to help where he is lacking and I am continuing to pray to God to send me the right man for me and my girls…someone strong, respectful, stable, funny, loving, etc…my list could go on and on…but when he comes to me he will love me and  love  my girls like his own.

The good thing about this meeting tomorrow is that I look damn good … I dropped 30 lbs since he has gone and in all the right places…hardly anymore baby fat left.  😉

Math or English?

I finally made a decision to have teaching as my back-up plan…to teach.  If so I would hope to be teaching by January 2012.  I was talking to my cousin this weekend and she thinks that I should teach middle school instead of elementary.  So after thinking about it some more I kind of agree…so now the question is whether I teach Math, English or Science.  The only Science I would not mind teaching is Biology (which I don’t believe they offer until High School), I love Math but it has changed so much and English, which was my minor I think I would love, until it is time to grade papers.  Either way I am going to have to brush up on some things but I am leaning heavily toward English.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.