Friendly Exes

One of the topics this morning on the radio (while driving in to the office) was…

“Do you remain friends with your exes?”

I do…in most cases.  I am a relationship whore…I have been in relationships constantly since HS.  I have hardly had breakups that was so terrible I felt we couldn’t be friendly.  One ex in particular has been my best guyfriend since we broke up…we don’t call and text each other all the time, because lets face the facts his ex and my ext did not care for that.  So it was more like when we need each other we know we are there.  Now that we are not attached anymore, we talk more frequently, check up with each other via text, FB, etc.  Its funny because all of his exes hated my guts, mind you none of them ever met me…yes I know ladies hard to hold a candle next to the one who stole his purity 🙂  but give me a break…that was eons ago.  His last girlfriend was the only one that did not have a problem with him being friends with me.  Other than him I am not quite sure I am friends with anyone else…not because of anything in particular, just because we lost touch. 

My most current ex…we have to be friends, we have two girls together…even though at times I wish I did not have to speak to him at all.  He would be the one that I would never speak to again.  We did not break up on bad terms…I was pretty okay with him leaving to move back home (NY)…just after he left he decided to show his true self.  If he would just be good to my girls I would not be so angry with him. We were together for so long, I know him better than he knows himself sometimes and that is so unfortunate.  I just wish he would get it together so we can be friendly…there is nothing worse than parents that can’t stand each other, and I don’t want to be that…I grew up with that and it was not fun.

What do you think, is it possible to be friends with exes?




The Close Talker

Why do some people find it necessary to get really close to you when they are talking?  I have contact with a person that doesn’t say anything from a distance.  Most people I encounter on a daily basis say hello/good morning from a distance, or in passing down the hall.  Not this person…he has the need to get very close to say anything.  It drives me CRAZY…mind you I am already crazy in my own head…why would someone want to add to that?  The other day I was saying hello and he stopped…mid-stride…to walk very close to me almost touching my being to say hello…Needless to say I am a female, so you know what he was almost touching…

Have you never heard of personal space?

Does anyone else have a close talker?


Not the Steve Martin classic (which BTW is one of my all time favorite movies) or the Robert Townsend TV show (where I got one of my girls names from)…the Real life…real deal. We watch all these superparents on TV and in movies and wonder how the hell do they do that…how do they deal with that.  And then snap…movie is over and back to reality.  When raising children, especially on your own, sometimes you just have those “rip out your hair” moments.  I had two of these moments in a 3 day time frame.

Let’s start with Saturday…

Since it was to hot to function outside we (the girls and myself) got up pretty early and headed out, ran a few errands and came home.  After lunch I started to clean the house so Sunday could be relaxing, no cleaning to do…so while the girls are eating their lunch, I start cleaning the kitchen and putting things away.  The girls are done inhaling their lunch…(both girls names start with Z…for purposes of my blog the oldest will be Z and the younger will be z) and go into the playroom to watch some tv. Fine with me since I get way more done while they are busy.  So an hour into my cleaning, with the music blasting in the living room, I am done with the kitchen and both bathrooms.  I go to the playroom and tell Z to start cleaning up their playroom and z to help…”okay mommy” is the response I get from both of them.  After a while I go check on them to see what progress they have made and nothing…they are sitting in front of the TV…I tell Z to turn the TV off because she needs to clean, not watch tv…when you are done you can turn the TV back on.  Z starts jumping up and down, having a terrible two’s tantrum(TTT)…mind you she is about to be 7 in 2 weeks. So I told her to go into her bedroom (where there is strategically no TV) and sit there until she was ready to clean up…the screaming continued…she sounded like she just got hurt. Luckily my neighbors are not nosy because if they were I am pretty sure the cops would have been at my damn door.  So needless to say she stayed in that room, screaming for hours, until dinner and then she went to bed…all because she did not want to clean up her playroom.

On to Monday…

I tell Z to get her work done…not really homework, she goes to an enrichment program and has work to do for that, nothing excessive just 3 worksheets a day.  Again with the TTT…ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.  After she sat in her room again screaming for about an hour she comes out and says … “Can I just do my work now?”  What the hell was the screaming for? 

I SWEAR kids need to come with instruction manuals…the hospitals want to give you baby bags, coupons and stuff… what they really need is a damn How To Manual….how to not throw your own TTT, how to not get the belt out, how to not drink a whole bottle or two of wine in one hour, how to not sit and cry because you think you have done something wrong, how to not let these damn kids get so far under your skin you have a meltdown…how to breathe…how to not call their father and curse him out for getting on with his life and not helping…

The list can go on and on and on and on…you get the gist.

What are some of the things you do to not rip your hair out?

What is all that RED…

Ink that is.  This morning on my way into the office I was listening to the radio and the topic of discussion was about teachers not being allowed to grade test/papers in red ink.  ARE THEY SERIOUS? The thought behind this is that it is too overwhelming for the kids to see their work written on in red, also that other students can see their grades easier…no its not the fact that the teacher puts a big fat A, B,C,D, or F on the top of the page…is it me or wouldn’t a kid be able to see the grade no matter the color of the ink. 

I had my tests and papers graded in red and it made no difference to me, if I got a 50 out of 100 I would have been disappointed regardless of the color of the ink the 50 was written in.  Soon enough kids are gonna have pretty purple ink saying 60% GREAT JOB, next thing you’ll know is that teachers won’t be allowed to grade papers at all, as long as its done … hey, you pass.  What is the big deal, these kids need to strive for more and if it is the red ink that makes them do so then what is the big friggin deal.

I think the parents that keep cottling their kids and not making school a priority … you know you have that big game this week so don’t study just practice … are the ones to blame for all of this.  

Do you really think it is the color of the ink on the graded that assignment that is the problem or the fact that the kids don’t study anymore and think school is just somewhere to hangout with friends until its time to go home…let’s focus on the bigger picture here people.

Had to get that out. 🙂

Quick Fix

If I could snap my fingers and be made over…or if I could completely afford a massive makeover I would change my stomach…having kids really kills the abs (unless your famous, or a serious athlete), my thighs…the upper thighs, my ass and boobs would totally get lifted…and I think that is it. Considering I live in the real world and none of that is going to happen overnight I guess I will keep working out and eating right.

Why Can’t It Always Be As Easy As Elementary School?

Remember when life was as easy as waking up…grooming ones self…going to school…socializing/learning…waiting for someone to ask you to be his/her girlfriend/boyfriend via a note folded 4 times with a yes, no and maybe box for you to check.  That was how easy it was to get a boyfriend/girlfriend.   Now…days are so jam packed its almost impossible to have a conversation with another adult…none the less a date.  Now…we must be on facebook, twitter, and all the other social networking sites, we must go speed dating, we must go to online dating websites so find someone that may or may not be as fake as the picture they got from google images…but we do it. Why?  Because of the need for another adults companionship.  When you work 40+ hours a week (not including the commute), and have children to raise alone where do you go to meet anyone, when do you even have the time?  The few places you do end up…you have the kids…so really where do we meet?  The choices are: the supermarket, church, target, the park, in traffic or at work.  I have a problem with all of these places…I don’t want to meet you in the supermarket for fear you may judge me by what is or isn’t in my cart, as I will you…church is too close to home and they are all so gossipy…target has the same implications as the supermarket and I am pretty sure I have way more personal items in my cart at target…the park is a problem because either you are there with your kids, which I want no parts of the baby momma drama – and if you’re not there with your kids WHY ARE YOU ON THE DAMN PLAYGROUND!!…lets see what is wrong with meeting someone in traffic – EVERYTHING what are we gonna do get out of the car and chat or scream phone numbers from the open windows…work we all know is a hit or miss situation and if its a miss it sure can make things awkward.

There were no expectations back then…just to walk around school and hold hands and tell everyone that the other is your bf/gf…maybe sneak a kiss in the stairwell but that was it.  No pressure. Now….what aren’t they expecting.  I know I have a checklist as I would hope he has…what’s on my checklist you ask?  Good credit, nice car, good job, savings, own something (house, condo, co-op, etc.), handsome, funny, family oriented, outgoing, motivator, good in bed, etc…IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.  That is a lot to expect  from someone you don’t even know…so what happens when you find someone that is really handsome and that is all he has to offer…of course off first look…and a few dates you don’t know that he isn’t everything you need him to be…what do you do after time has passed…do you settle? Do you shrug it off and start the game over? What happens to all the time that we waste, dating people that are not good for us. Nothing happens … that’s the problem, we waste all this time and in the end we just get older making harder to find the “right” person because now that we wasted time with Joe, John, Mark, etc…we have found more things to add to our list of expectations.  And now that we are getting older and the time is still ticking away it makes for us to make hasty decisions regarding our hearts because who wants to grow old alone…who wants to wait until they can’t have kids to have them?  Wasting all of this time is forcing us to find love, get engaged, get married and have kids all within a two year time span…why? Because we have wasted all of this time…because the world is different…the world is on speed. Every time you logon to a social networking site someones status changes from “single” to “engaged”, from “engaged” to “married”, from “whatever” to “it’s complicated”…there is a button for everything. Dating websites find people for you based on what you put in its database…lets all hope what you put is indeed factual, because when/if we do meet in person I don’t want to see a beer belly when your current photo has you with rock hard abs.

Three more clicks people and I might just hit the jackpot…

Pre-planning Sucks

So much for planning. I had this whole day planned…fun in the sun…go swimming, go shopping, go to grandma’s house for a BBQ, then home where the kids would pass out because they played all day in the sun. The day started out right…we got up went shopping, went swimming for about an hour…just as we are showering … …I literally have to jump out of the shower, throw on my bathrobe and run out into a natural shower just to close the windows in the car. So now I am back in the house finished my shower and sat down to eat my lite lunch…power goes out…back on…back out…back on. About 4 times…each time it takes 3-5 minutes for the Directv to reboot…thank God for DVD’s. So instead of enjoying the sun today I am enjoying my couch. Watching a movie, drinking my wine and on the laptop… let’s see how much more of this I can take without one of these…