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What Today Would Have Been

My sister would have been 37 today 😦  So this year instead of crying a lot we decided to take what we feel and write her notes and put them in balloons to send up to her this evening.  Last night I asked my 7 year old to write a note to her TiTi(auntie) and she did just that.  I should have copied her note so she could look at it years from now to see how she was feeling this time around…basically her note made me cry.  She wrote “I love you soooooo much and I will see you again.”  She then turns the paper over and drew a picture of her and her Titi holding hands inside of a big heart and wrote you and me on top of the people…I cried a bit b/c she loves my sister even though she didn’t get a real chance to know her.  We left NY when my daughter was 4 and she only got to see her once more after that when she was 5, then the next time she saw her she was in her casket.  My baby girl only got to meet her once in her 2 1/2 years on this earth and she was only about 5 months old.  She knows her b/c her pictures are all over my house and I talk about her a lot but it is hard sometimes.  I miss her dearly, timing makes it hard for me sometimes.  We always shared our birthdays as I am 10/4, she was 10/7 and my mom is 10/14 so we would always celebrate together. And not to mention she passed away the day before my oldest daughters birthday. So it is hard to make sad times happy, but this year I am trying my best because I know she would not want me to be sad that she is in a better place.

She was my big sister, best friend and mommy figure when I needed her the most.  She will forever be in my heart.  Happy Birthday –  RIP T

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4 thoughts on “What Today Would Have Been

  1. I believe those that have passed will always be with us if we keep their memory alive, as I know she is with you right now. And I think that was a beautiful way to celebrate her birthday. I hope I remember it when Memorial Day rolls around again, as I’ve lost many loved ones and always feel funny about laying flowers down when I know they will just wither and die. Somehow the thought of balloons floating to the heavens just sounds peaceful. Thank you for that picture. I pray that you will always remember the times you had together and not focus on the time you’ve now lost so, that you may be at peace with it.

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