As I sit and think about what is currently happening in my life and what has happened in the past I realize that I go through phases not knowing … doubting myself without even knowing it. Most recently I realized that I have not done what I thought I would have done with my life … to date.
When I was a child around 5 years old my parents would ask me…”What do you want to be when you grow up?” My silly answer was “A doctor and a lawyer.”
Unfortunately I did not take the medical school or law school route but the most unfortunate part of this is that it was what my parents really expected.
A child has concept on what they should be as an adult…the many twists and turns life takes you through. I went through all of my school years getting very good grades, and when high school came around I had a social life and got good grades…great right? Not so much, those words stated as a 5 year old were still haunting me through high school, so what did I do my first year of college when my counselor asked me to declare a major…Pre-Med please…Ha!! I hated it so much I didn’t go to class, didn’t want to read 300 pages a week for one class when I had 5 classes…needless to say I changed my major my Sophmore year. Too bad the damage was already done…Senior year I ended up taking and doing very well on the LSAT exam but realized I didn’t want to go to law school, not right away anyway. So after having jobs in different functionalities I returned back to school to become a nurse…or to try to become a nurse. So instead of being 8 years into my career I am waiting to start my career. Somedays I wonder if I should just take the test to become a teacher down here…so many ups and downs in my head but I know what I want to do I just hate that I have to wait to do it…
Instead of wanting to please everyone around me instead of myself I should have taken time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life…then maybe…just maybe I wouldn’t be such a mess today.