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Emotional Rollercoaster

So the past few days have been a complete up and down, round and round with my emotions.  The 4th of July is usually the kick-off to a series of BBQ’s, parties, and summer fun.  Unfortunately for me not so much.  The 4th of July just means the next day my sister has been gone for a year.  July 5th 2010 my 35 year old sister left this earth…and I know in my heart that is for the best, I don’t think it is fair for anyone to live in illness. I watched illness take so many of my loved ones, and it sure isn’t pretty.  These diseases take away people before they are even gone.  I watched my sister become a shell of herself…she was there but she really wasn’t.  She understood everything, and could communicate properly, but physically she was not the same…her body had transformed, she couldn’t physically do the things she normally would.  So crazy how a year passes so fast…I remember talking to my sister on the phone before she passed like it was yesterday.  RIP Kiko…I will forever love and miss you.

The next day…is my daughters birthday…this year she turned 7.  It is hard for me to be happy after losing my sister/best friend the day before…but I had to suck it up, I know my sister would not want me to be sad on my babies birthday. So I baked 48 cupcakes for her to take to camp…and this weekend I will be making an ice cream cake and having a BBQ for her birthday…

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Emotional Rollercoaster

  1. Choose to celebrate her life on the day she passed. I know it sounds difficult, but for the last few years I’ve been faced with my best friends birthday and anniversary of her death, and as odd as it sounds it’s easier for me to deal with if I choose to celebrate her life on those days. Time helps too. It doesn’t heal, but it allows one to cope better.
    I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope you have people around you that are supportive and understand. It makes grieving easier when you do.

  2. I am so sorry to learn about your sister. It is so hard to find happiness when a death falls so close to a time where you need to put a smile on and be happy. I lost my mom at the age of 51 in May of 2005. Mother’s day always sucks. It’s hard to put a smile on and give my stepmom that mother’s day card and for me I just want to be left alone and spend the day by myself and my kids are too young to understand so I put a smile on my face and push down the emotions that I have that day. It’s been getting easier as the last couple of years have passed. i have learned to celebrate her on that day, to take that day and not be sad but yet be happy with the memories that I have.
    *hugs*

  3. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to lose your sister. I’d leave a snarky remark to lighten the mood, but that just seems wrong. Tough times. 😦

    • That would have been fine. 🙂 I am trying to deal with it the best way possible and remember my sister the way she was when she was happy. Thank you

  4. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t even imagine losing my sister. Honor her memory and remember the good times. I would imagine that is what she would want.

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