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Are You There God? It’s Me Toni…

Okay I am going to be randomly rambling here so bare with me…

Some days life seems so great…other days not so much.  I remember reading this book as a little girl, Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret and as an adult I still go to that place.  Sometimes it is so much harder to believe in a higher power when so much chaos is going on around you.  Let’s see what is it that I need…more money, more time, more free time, more patience…MORE, I just need MORE.  I look around and I know deep down inside that I am way better off than a lot of people in the world, but its hard not to feel like I need more and I need it now.  We learn all about patience when we are young, when we want something right away and mom/dad says you have to wait…we learn to wait, so why is that in adulthood we forget how to wait.  I need to go back and figure out how to wait…I have to wait for all my blessings: financial, personal, physical, etc.

Today… I wake up at 5am (which should be totally unlawful on a Saturday) because my 2 year old decided she wanted to get up and not lay back down.  So I get out of bed, make some coffee, and sit down on the couch and try to catch up on my DVR’d shows while she watches Yo-Gabba-Gabba in my bedroom.  Everything is going fine until my soon to be 7 year old wakes up and decides she wants to argue with the 2 year old.  Why are they arguing you ask? I have no damn clue…I just know that its 8am and my voice is already raised.  Way too early for me to be saying STOP, NO, DON’T DO THAT, SIT DOWN, etc.  Why don’t they understand that I need quiet until at least 10:30am.  My brain is on Saturday mode and does not want to function at all until I have at least consumed 2 giant cups of coffee…and at 8am I was just pouring cup number 2.  So now at 10am I am allowed to sit and relax and enjoy my 2nd cup of coffee that I now had to re-heat in the microwave…the life of a single mom.

I know at the end of all of this it will only make me a stronger woman…which is great. I just need a break at some point before I have a mental break.  I am going to keep smiling though through all of this because I know plenty of people have it way worse than I do.

Everyone have a happy and safe holiday weekend… 🙂

 

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One thought on “Are You There God? It’s Me Toni…

  1. I was a single parent through most of my first marriage (I know you can understand how that’s possible, his being an absent husband/father most of the time), after that marriage ended, and only had a second husband to carry the weight for six years after that. I pretty much raised them single-handed. It’s a job, and I sympathize. The payoff though is that one day they will leave the nest, you’ll have ‘your’ life back, and grandchildren to spoil and send home. It’ll happen sooner than you think. Trust me. Till then, keep the faith mom, have a nip off the bottle when you need to, and know that if the worst of it is just the two of them arguing on a Saturday morning, you are indeed more than capable of handling it. Good luck, babe!

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