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Friendly Exes

One of the topics this morning on the radio (while driving in to the office) was…

“Do you remain friends with your exes?”

I do…in most cases.  I am a relationship whore…I have been in relationships constantly since HS.  I have hardly had breakups that was so terrible I felt we couldn’t be friendly.  One ex in particular has been my best guyfriend since we broke up…we don’t call and text each other all the time, because lets face the facts his ex and my ext did not care for that.  So it was more like when we need each other we know we are there.  Now that we are not attached anymore, we talk more frequently, check up with each other via text, FB, etc.  Its funny because all of his exes hated my guts, mind you none of them ever met me…yes I know ladies hard to hold a candle next to the one who stole his purity 🙂  but give me a break…that was eons ago.  His last girlfriend was the only one that did not have a problem with him being friends with me.  Other than him I am not quite sure I am friends with anyone else…not because of anything in particular, just because we lost touch. 

My most current ex…we have to be friends, we have two girls together…even though at times I wish I did not have to speak to him at all.  He would be the one that I would never speak to again.  We did not break up on bad terms…I was pretty okay with him leaving to move back home (NY)…just after he left he decided to show his true self.  If he would just be good to my girls I would not be so angry with him. We were together for so long, I know him better than he knows himself sometimes and that is so unfortunate.  I just wish he would get it together so we can be friendly…there is nothing worse than parents that can’t stand each other, and I don’t want to be that…I grew up with that and it was not fun.

What do you think, is it possible to be friends with exes?

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Friendly Exes

  1. very difficult to remain just friends with ex’s. For me, i find myself getting drawn back into situations i should be drawn back into and boom, before you know it, i’m in a complicated tryst with 3 ex girlfirends who want to kill one another…is it my fault?? yep i can’t blame them…and what started this bad move? Being friends with someone you know intimately and being around them once more when your libido loves to be fed…. dangerous..

    T.

    • Very true…it is hard to be friends and not get intimate, I did it though for a long time, but I must say with my best guyfriend I did go back once for the sex and then it never happened again, I just think it was friendly sex and it didn’t make things weird for us so that was a bonus. I couldn’t imagine not being able to talk to him because of that

  2. I’ve been asking myself this same question… Part of me thinks an important part of whether or not you can be friends with your ex is whether you guys were friends before you were together. If you have a base friendship, a time when you were just friends, maybe you can find ways to go back there…but probably not. My gut says 9 times out of 10, it’s best to just go your separate ways. Stay civil, maybe catch up ever year or so, but true friends? It would likely just be too hard.

  3. First off…nice look. Now, I think it is ok to be friends depending on how the relationship was. Now in your case with the last ex. You HAVE to be friends with him cause of the girls. I have tried to be friends with this one ex and yeah that isn’t happening. It lasted almost all my young life like 8 years or so. Too much history and it ended badly. Now I am friends with some exes, but it ended mutually, and it is cool. So I guess this long answer could have just been shortened to. Depends how the history and/or how it ended. (Sorry I tend to start blabbing)

    • Blabbing is perfectly fine…we are all guilty of it sometimes…I agree it depends on how the relationship ended. Hopefully there won’t be that many more exes in my life that I would have to worry about that. Thanks

  4. I can’t stand either of my ex-husbands, but try to be as agreeable as possible for the kids’ sake. Fortunately the first two kids are grown and the last wants nil to do with his dad, so I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Ex-boyfriends I usually remain friends with, which has infuriated current boyfriends at times. One told me that I never get rid of ex-s but recycle them into pool partners. True. That used to be the common thread. My way of looking at it was, there was something I really liked about them before we got together, and although it never worked, I still liked them as a person. Some of my best friends were ex lovers.

  5. This is such a great question. I don’t have any good exes but my current b/f was a friend for 10 years so we are always trying to mentally check in on the old friendship, determined to keep it if our romance goes wrong – but it would be very hard. My kids’ dad – 13 years together – is a nightmare. We are dreadful refusing-to-get-over-it exes, all the while saying that current hostilities have nothing-to-do-with our old relationship. Yeah right! But I have a guy friend who has been with me through thick and thin, including one night together which didn’t go anywhere, AND a girl friend who has two lovely exes who virtually live in her flat while her new boyfriend comes round occasionally… So I believe in good exes, though 9 out of 10 might be right!

    • wow that is very interesting…I am friends with just about all of my exes but I don’t think I would ever go down that road…who knows like you said it is never simple

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